


Rick to the Future - Interdimensional Mind Fuck 7

by R_A_Butler96



Category: Back to the Future (Movies), Rick and Morty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-16
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-26 17:03:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5012776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_A_Butler96/pseuds/R_A_Butler96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rick and Morty begin to watch the Back to the Future movies in honor of October 21st 2015 but decide to go into the movie. While inside, the two incidentally cause a catastrophe that threatens the entire universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

October 21st, 2015:

Rick and Morty sat down to watch the Back to the Future trilogy with some popcorn Rick had picked up from the Flibbleflax Nebula. The box they came in was oval-shaped and sported the name "Dick Pops" with a tagline that read, "Pop one in your mouth and feel it squirt."

Rick popped a few of the kernels in his mouth and noisily chewed on them while Morty hit the play button on the remote. 

"I-I-I think you're really gonna like this, Rick", Morty said as the FBI warning played on the screen, "I still can't believe you've, you know, never seen it before. I-i-it seems like your kind of movie."

"I don't waste my time watching stupid Earth shows, M-*urp*-orty. Especially ones that seem oddly relative to my actual life. *burp*." 

Rick pulled a flask out of his coat and took a long swig of it. Morty stared eagerly at the screen as the Back to the Future logo appeared and the sound of clocks ticking could be heard.  

"W-wh-what's with all the clocks? That just seems like overkill", Rick said with his arms crossed. 

"The Doc is...I don't know, eccentric? What does it matter, Rick? I-i-it's a cool visual."

"What, like the unnecessarily complicated breakfast-slash-dog food machine? Yeah, real great stuff here, Morty."

"Well, this is one of my favorite movies, Rick. So, s-sh-shut the hell up, okay?"

"Jeez, Morty. *urp* You sure get pissy over th-this bullshit movie."

"It's not a bullshit movie! I-I-I used to w-watch it when I was a kid. I would always pretend to be Marty and act out the scenes. It's like...a blanket...a security blanket. I just wish I could hop inside the movie and, like, be Marty. You feel me, Rick?"

"No, Morty, I don't. *burp* And it's not happening so just forget it."

"What's not happening?"

"I know where you're going with this and, I've got to say, I'm getting a little tired of it. I mean six times is enough."

Morty looked confused. 

"Six times for what? What are you not telling me, Rick?"

Rick threw his hands up in a sign of frustration and then pulled a tablet like device from his coat. 

"Here, look at this", Rick said holding the device up for Morty to see, "It's called a Gablet. It comes from a dis-*urp*-tant part of the galaxy, r-r-right next door to the Starbucks. It lets you, you know, gab to other people...record stuff. It's awesome, Morty."

"Woah, that's neat, Rick. So, it's like a Tablet?"

"No, Mor-ty", Rick said as he emphasized the syllables, "It's, like, a million times better than a Tablet. It records all our adventures from a third-person *burp* perspective even when it's not around us. Look, here's the time you wanted to live out Die Hard and ended up getting yourself killed."

The video shows Hans Gruber holding a machine gun over a John McClane-Morty inside of a shot-up office room. 

"Yippee-ki-yay, Mutter fucker", Hans said just before pulling the trigger and riddling Morty with bullets. 

"See, Morty, just cause you've seen a movie a whole bunch of times doesn't mean you can live it."

"Holy shit, Rick. Thats...th-th-that's messed up! How come I don't remember any of that?"

"Because *burp* you're not that Morty. He died so I went to another dimension and picked up one of the Rickless Morty's. Like I said, I've done it six times already and I'm not doing it again."

"JESUS, RICK!! I'm-I'm not real?"

"For Christ's sake, Morty. Wh-what do you think I am? Some kind of mon-*urp*-ster? Huh? You have the same biology and common knowledge as the other Morty and thanks to me you have the implanted memories too. I just left out the parts where you died."

Morty stared off into the back yard. His whole life had just been turned upside down. He just wanted to watch one of his favorite movies with Rick and now everything had changed forever. The only thing he could do now was guilt Rick into letting him live out the Back to the Future trilogy to make himself feel better. 

"Rick...I want to live out the Back to the Future movies."

Rick gave Morty a look of contempt before putting the Gablet back in his pocket and pulling out his flask. 

"Did-*urp*-did you not just hear me, Morty?" Rick uttered as he took a swig, "I said it ain't happenin'! Just watch the damn thing s-s-so we can get back to our lives, o-*urp*-kay?"

Morty thought of how he could get Rick to give in to his request. He couldn't outsmart him so he had to appeal to Rick's sense of laziness. He stood up quickly and looked around for something he could use as a weapon. 

"You better let me do it, Rick! O-o-or I'll...uh...smash this vase over my head", Morty exclaimed as he reached over and grabbed the nearby lamp, "If I'm dead...y-you'll have to go get another Morty anyway."

Rick stared at the TV with a look of disinterest to Morty's claims. 

"One. You're not strong enough to kill yourself with a vase. Two. That's a lamp. And three. I don't have to do a damn thing, Morty. Y-y-you kill yourself and I'll just sit here and let you rot, Morty. Rot and stink up the place."

"Oh, jeez!"

"Like really rotten, Morty. I'm talkin', flie-*urp*-flies and maggots. The whole nine-*burp*-nine yards."

"Okay, I get it."

"Your eyes, Morty, your eyes will be pudding. Th-think...think tapioca, Morty. Just running out as you decay."

"Alright", Morty said as he put the lamp back and sat down, "Just forget the whole thing."

Rick and Morty sat in silence for several minutes. When the scene came up where the McFly family was having dinner, Rick rolled his eyes, stood up and walked out of the room. Morty continued to watch the film with his arms crossed and a look of anger. After a few moments, Rick came back in holding a device that looked like a cross between a spinning wheel toy and a calculator. 

"I'm bored, Morty. This device will allow us to transfer our memories and appearance into the characters in the movie. But, there's rules, Morty."

"Like what?"

"First off, we have to stick to the script. We can't mess around with the movie's plot, Morty, or we risk causing the characters to become self-aware. That could lead to all sorts of trouble...you hear me, Morty? Big *burp* trouble."

"Yeah, I hear you Rick", Morty said with excitement in his voice, "What other rules are there?"

"We will be transporting our consciousness into the digital plane while our bodies remain here, so it goes without saying that if we die there...*belch*...aw, that was a good one, we die in reality."  

"I promise, Rick, I won't die this time or anything. This is going to be so awesome!"

"Cool your jets, Morty", Rick said as he pulled a small pill bottle from his coat, "The human mind wasn't meant to withstand a digital transfer. We need to take these Deus Ex pills in order for our minds to be compatible with the movie's wave lengths."

After they took their pills, Rick held the device out and pointed it at the TV while his finger hovered over the start button. 

"And away we go!" 

October 26th, 1985:

The next thing Morty knew, he was being awoken by the sound of a phone ringing. He was wearing a blue checkered button-up shirt over a red t-shirt and dark jeans. His hair also matched that of Marty in the film. It took Morty a few minutes to realize...he was IN the movie. Upon the realization, Morty sprang up and answered the phone. 

"Um...H-hello?"

"Morty! Were you sleeping?"

"Uh...yeah. This is the part in the movie when Doc calls Marty in the middle of the night. Great scene."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever, Morty. Listen, where the hell am I? I'm standing *burp* next to some dumb van in the middle of a sh-shopping centers parking lot. Th-th-there's a damn dog here too...I-I don't know if it's a stray or what the hell, Morty. Also, there's no cell phones here *urp* either. I'm having to talk to you on a piece-of-shit payphone...d-do you...er...do you have any idea how many diseases are on this thing? I-I might as well have a toilet seat up to my ear, Morty." 

"Oh man, I'm sorry, Rick. That's just the Doc's dog. Funny story...he is actually the first one to time trav-"

"I don't care, Morty. Listen, just get down here so we can get through this."

Morty got up and put on Marty's jacket and grabbed the skateboard. As he headed out to meet Rick, Morty realized that he couldn't skate worth a damn even though Marty was basically a pro in the film. Morty realized that Rick was right and that no matter how much you know about a movie, you cannot live it like the character can. 

October 26th, 1985: Twin Pines Mall

Rick leaned up against the van as he stared down at Einstein. He was dressed in the attire that Doc Brown wore in the film along with the hair and hazmat suit. Einstein looked bored as he stared back at his faux-master. 

"The hell's your problem?" he said to Einstein. 

After a long period of time, Morty finally came walking down the street to meet with Rick. He was holding the skateboard in one hand and a camcorder in the other. 

"What in the hell took you so long?" Rick said as he walked over to meet Morty.

"I had to go get the camera. The Doc asks Marty to do it before he goes to the mall. It's part of the movie, Rick."

"Well its 1:20 am", Rick said looking at his watch, "Whatever was supposed to happened, probably should have already happened."

"Um...yeah, I think your right" Morty said as he looked around.

"Well,*burp* what happens next?" Rick said looking unenthused.

"Uh...let's see...oh man, I don't remember.". 

"Are you fucking kidding me, Morty? You don't remember?! I'm counting on you to get us through this and you don't even know what's coming next?"

As the two began arguing, Einstein crawled inside the van and started barking. This caught Morty's attention. 

"What is it, Einstein?" Morty yelled.

Einstein looked over to a direction ahead of them. Rick and Morty could see a van with its headlights turned off heading their way. Once the van realized it had been spotted, it suddenly turned the lights on and hit the accelerator.

"Oh god, Rick!" Morty said with anxiety in his voice. 

"Wha-*urp*-what is it, Morty?"

"It's the Libyans!"

Rick grabbed Morty and ran to take shelter in the van. 

"What's going on here, Morty? Why the hell are Libyan terrorists attacking us?" Rick said as he searched through the tool belt around his waist. 

"Um...oh man...oh god-"

"Damn it! Snap out of it, Morty", Rick said as he slapped Morty across the face. 

"Thanks, Rick. I needed that."

"Now tell me the low down on the situation."

"Oh...um...well the Doc stole plutonium from these guys so he could...you know, power the time machine."

"Plutonium to power a time machine? What? Does this story include a mad scientist from a 1950s B horror movie?"

"Well, in Part 2, the Doc replaces-"

"Morty...Morty. I'm going to stop you there. *Burp* Let's forget about the sequels and just focus on one movie at a time. G-give me that camera."

Morty handed the camera to Rick who promptly threw it to the floor causing it to break into several pieces. After a few moments of tinkering, Rick had fashioned a makeshift gun from the parts, although it looked more like a handle taped to a circuit board. 

"Alright, Morty. I'm ready to take these guys out."

"Wait..Rick! Th-that's a bad idea!"

Before Morty could stop Rick, his grandpa had already jumped out of the van. The Libyans pulled up and pointed an assault rifle at Rick. With a yawn, Rick pulled the trigger on the weapon he made causing the Libyan van to disappear in a bright orange glow. Morty looked out the window and then stepped out to talk to Rick. 

"Oh man...what did you do, Rick?" 

"I disintegrated them, Morty. They're dead."

"Oh no, Rick. That's not what was supposed to happen. Oh jeez. What's going to happen now?"

"Probably nothing *burp*."

Einstein then came out of the van and began barking at Rick and Morty and showing his teeth. 

"Oh shit, Morty. The dog...he's become self-aware. He knows we don't belong here. We need to get back on th-the script. Tell me, what was supposed to happen with the Libyans?"

"Well...um...there was a car chase and then Marty goes back in time to, like, 1955...I think."

"Alright then, Morty. It's time to go Back to the Past. Is that-*burp*-the phrase. Back to the Past? Do people say that, Morty?"

"Yeah...sure, Rick", Morty stated with sarcasm. 

To be continued...


	2. Rick and Morty's Bogus Journey

October 26th, 1985: Twin Pines Mall

Rick and Morty examined the DeLorean as it sat in the back of the van. Morty pulled a lever that caused the back-end ramp to lower and fulfill the iconic scene of the time machine being unveiled as Rick slowly backed it out. Once it was on the ground, Morty slid down the ramp and approached the driver side as Rick opened the door. 

"Holy shit, Morty!" Rick said with excitement in his voice, "You're telling me that the Dork built a time machine out of a-a DeLorean? Do you have any idea how much we can sell one of these things for in the real world? A lot, Morty, a wh-whole fucking lot. But we've gotta take all this shit off of it. It hurts *urp* the resale."

"N-n-no, we can't take it off!", Morty said with urgency, "That's the stuff that makes the car time travel! L-leave it alone, Rick!"  

Rick rolled his eyes as he got out of the car. 

"See all this shit on here, Morty? All this stuff? Y-you think it's so cool, don't you?"  

"Uh...yeah", Morty uttered with apprehension. 

"Well its bullshit, Morty. All of it. Ju-just wires and bl-*urp*-blinking lights. It's like th-the Enterprise panel from the original Star Trek. The buttons...th-the buttons don't do jack, Morty."

"Oh...Wait...I-I thought you didn't watch Earth shows?"

"I said stupid Earth shows, Morty. Don't over analyze everything I say. Ju-*urp*-ust stick to this bit we're doing."

"Oh...okay", Morty said with confusion.

"So, tell me", Rick stated with mock-interest, "What nonsense word did they come up with for explaining the complicated mechanics of time travel?"

"Well...uh, the Flux Capacitor is wh-what makes time travel possible." 

Rick let out an unnecessarily loud laugh. 

"Ha...a-a "Flux Capacitor"?", Rick exclaimed in disbelief, "That sounds like a part you'd buy for a vacuum...which is convenient cause this time machine both sucks and blows. Oh *urp* snap."

"A-a-alright, Rick", Morty said with an annoyed tone, "We get it...you hate it here. Just, you know, like shut up until we actually do something. Okay? I-I-I mean we've just been standing here talking for like fif-fifteen minutes, just talking. So...you know, let's get to the past and junk. You..you hear me, Rick?"

"Sheesh. Alright, Morty. Let's get going already...ah, man...I think I'm sobering up. *burp*", Rick said as he put his hand in his coat, "Damn, my flask is still on my body. First stop when we get to the past is a booze store...wh-where did you say we were going? The 50s?"

"Yeah. November 5th, 1955."

"Good. Prohibition is long over. Alright, how do we get this piece of junk to break the time barrier?" Rick asked as he got into the passenger side of the car.

"We've got to get up to 88 mph before we can achieve a-a reaction that will...um, power the time circuits and-"

"M-Morty...Morty, quit it with the stupid movie jargon and ándale, already."

Morty got into the driver seat and turned on the engine. He revved it up and let out a hoot of joy. He then thrust the shifter into gear and hit the accelerator. The car lurched forward, sputtered, and then died. 

"You don't know how to drive stick, do you, Morty?"

"Um...no."

The pair switched seats and tried again. The DeLorean roared to life...again, and took off like a shot. As the speedometer reached 88, Morty raised his arms in the air as if he were on a rollercoaster. Just as the blue lights came on around the car, Morty turned to Rick to offer some sound advice.

"Watch out for the barn!"

"Wait...what?" Rick said just as they passed through the time barrier.

* * *

November 5th, 1955: Peabody Farm

They arrived in the past just as Marty did. Rick began yelling as they struck the scarecrow which caused them to careen into the barn. This of course alerted Otis Peabody and his family to their presence. Inside the barn, Rick and Morty were regaining their senses. 

"Th-thanks for the warning, Morty", Rick uttered sarcastically, "Y-y-you knew that was coming and you just let it... you let it happen. I mean, Jesus, Morty, f-for...for Christ's sake."

"Hey...I tried to warn you...b-but it's okay, Rick. It's okay. This...th-this was supposed to happen. You know? D-don't be all pissed about it, just come on. Let's get out of here before that farmer starts shooting at us."  

"Well, we need to have a serious talk about this movie's plot...c-cause shit keeps happening, Morty...shit I need to be aware of BEFORE it happens! You get me, Morty? Huh?"

"Yeah, yeah...just drive, Rick."

As the family crept up to the door, Rick and Morty came barreling out. They ran over and killed Otis and his son, leaving the wife and daughter screaming out in grief as the pair drove off into the night. 

They eventually arrived at the Lyon Estates billboard where Marty hid the DeLorean in the movie. As they gathered branches from the nearby bushes to hide the DeLorean themselves, Morty told Rick about the movie's storyline. 

"So, you're telling me that we are stuck here, in the dumbass ages, for an entire week? And we have to go find a younger version of the Doc to get home? A-and then, to top it all off, you'll be spending the whole week dating your mom? Wh-wh-what the hell kind of movie is this, Morty?"

"W-well...i-i-it's not the whole week."

"Whatever, Morty. Come on, let's get into town. I-I'm getting...ah man...I'm getting thirsty."

Rick and Morty waited until the morning and then walked the 2 miles to Hill Valley in order to find Rick some liquor and also so Morty/Marty could meet his dad at the diner. 

November 5th, 1955: Hill Valley

Mr. Sandman by the Chordettes played in the air as Rick and Morty strolled into town. Rick guzzled whiskey from a small bottle he picked up from a store on the edge of town. 

"Oh man, Morty", Rick said as alcohol dribbled off his lower lip, "Thi-*urp*...th-this hits the spot, Morty. Where to next?"

"There", Morty uttered as he pointed towards a small cafe.

The people gave Rick and Morty odd looks, on account of their clothes, as they walked across the town square to the cafe. Once inside, the pair was met by the snarky owner, Lou.

"Hey kid, what you do, jump ship?" Lou chuckled.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Rick stated with anger rising in his voice.

"He means my jacket, Rick", Morty explained, "I-it looks like a life preserver...like, a Navy thing or something."

"Woah, you're in the Navy?", Lou asked in disbelief.

"Yeah we are", Rick interjected, "So y-y-you better show us some damn respect, you *burp* asshole."

"With a mouth like that, you boys must be Navy", Lou stated as he turned around and grabbed the pot of coffee, "Here. My apologies. Have a cup of joe, on the house."

"Damn straight", Rick exclaimed as he gulped down the offered cup.

Morty went over to the phone booth to collect the page with the younger Doc's address. He then went back to the counter and took a seat next to Rick who was pouring whiskey into his coffee. Morty looked over to see George McFly with his head turned away as he wrote in his journal. The door slammed open, signaling Biff Tannen and his gang's entrance. 

"Hey McFly, what do you think you're doing?" Biff said in an uncharacteristically high voice.  

Morty and George turned to look at the door at the same time. It was then that Rick and Morty came to a startling realization. Biff was Mr. Poopybutthole and George McFly was Jerry Smith.

"Holy shit, Morty...l-l-look Buff-"

"Biff", Morty corrected.

"Yeah, yeah...Biff is Mr. Poopybutthole! This movie just got a whole lot better, Morty."

"Hey I'm talking to you, McFly, you-you Irish bug." Biff continued.

"Oh hey, Biff, hey, guys, how are you doing?" George replied.

Rick pulled out his bottle and took a swig as he watched the scene unfold with a grin. 

"Yeah, uh...you got my homework finished, McFly?" Biff asked having to look up at George due to his height. 

"Uh, well, actually, I figured it wasn't due till Monday-" George stopped talking because Biff was climbing up his leg. 

While standing on his lap, Biff started knocking on George's head.

"H-hello, hello anybody home? Think, McFly, th-think." 

"Woah" Morty exclaimed quietly, "Hey, Rick, why are we seeing people we know in real life here? I-I mean, they still think they're the characters but they are...you know, not."

"Memory trans-*urp*-ference, Morty. We...we inadvertently shifted their appearance when we entered the movie. Our memories are being read like um...like a cassette, Morty. A video cassette. Th-that's why we have to make sure we stay on script. If the characters knew we weren't real, the-they could follow the digital bridge we created back to the real world and take over our bodies...or something like that."

"Oh god!", Morty exclaimed as Biff and George concluded their conversation.

"I don't w-wanna see you in here again." Biff said as he exited the cafe.

"Yeah, alright, bye-bye." George uttered as he turned his attention back to his journal. 

Rick and Morty stared at George prompting him to respond. 

"What?!"

"You're um...George, right?", Morty asked timidly.

"Yeah, who are you?"

"We're just a couple of dudes who think you should hit it with this pretty girl we know", Rick stated with a wink. 

"Wait...what?", George inquired in confusion, "You want me to hit a pretty girl?"

"No-no we know this-" Morty tried to explain but was interrupted by Goldie, the busboy/future mayor. 

"Say, why do you let those boys push you around like that?" he asked. 

"Um, excuse us!", Rick bellowed, "We were in the middle of a conversation!"

"Is my busboy bothering you fine sailors?" Lou asked with his arms crossed. 

"Yeah he's causing us a whole mess of shit", Rick stated while looking over at Goldie. 

"Alright, Goldie, you know the punishment for disturbing patrons. Fifty lashes and a night in the broom closet", Lou said calmly as he went around and pulled the screaming busboy to the back. 

"Ah Jesus, Rick!" Morty shouted as he put his hands on his face, "That was just...unnecessary. He-he's the future mayor."

"Yeah, Morty it's a real shame. It was a different time back then...now", Rick said as he turned to see George had left, "Ah damnit, Morty. You let Jerry...er...George get away."

Morty turned to see the empty seat next to him. The pair got up and followed George until they came to an empty stretch of the suburbs where they found his bike.

"Alright, where is he, Morty?" Rick said as he looked around. 

"Up there", Morty stated as he pointed up at the trees. 

There was George, peeping on a woman who was undressing in her home. 

"Man, *burp* th-th-this guy has Jerry written all over him...m-m-maybe that's why our brains are altering our perception of him. You know, cause he's so much like Jerry."

"Yeah...I get it, Rick" 

Just as in the movie, George fell out of the tree and was almost hit by Lorraine Baines father, Sam. Right before impact, Morty jumped out to save George but was not strong enough to push him entirely out of the way and George went under the front wheel. Morty was then struck by the car and flew into the windshield. Both teens died on impact. Sam got out of the car and began screaming out for help. 

"Oh...shit...not again" Rick says as he puts his head in his hand in frustration.

To be continued...


	3. Just in the Rick of Time

Morty lay on a bed with a damp rag on his head. Someone sat down on the bed causing Morty to stir from his slumber.  

"Ah, man...Rick? Is that you?", Morty said in a sleepy tone while keeping his eyes closed.

"There, there, Morty", Rick uttered in a sympathetic tone, "Just take it ea-*urp*-sy. You've been out for, like, nine minutes. Th-th-there's something I need to tell you, Morty."

"I had a h-horrible nightmare, Rick. I dreamed I went into the Back to the Future movie a-and we went back to 1955-"

"That's what I need to tell you. It wasn't a dream, Morty. We're still in the movie AND it's still 1955. Oh and um...all the character's we've met so far have become self-aware."

Morty's eyes sprang open as he shot up in a panic. 

"Wha-wha-what?! Oh, jeez, Rick. What did you do?"

"*burp* Y-y-you just automatically blame me?! Well guess what, Mor-ty, this...this is all your fault. A-all of it, you can't...you just can't get your shit right, can you, Morty?"

"What did I do?"

Rick stood up with a grimace, pulled out his liquor bottle, and took a hard swig. 

"You died, Morty...*urp* again."

"Oh GOD! Jesus, Rick! H-h-how...wh-what happened?"

"You tried to save George and proved that in a competition of man versus car...the car wins. Th-the car always wins, Morty. Oh,  and...*urp* you got George killed too."

"Oh no, Rick!"

"Yeah, Morty. His head...his head, Morty, was smushed like a-a melon."

"Oh, jeez!"

"I-i-it was a-a damn fruit salad, all over...all over the road."

"Ju-just stop, Rick...p-please."

"Suit yourself, Morty. I'm just letting you know what you're capable of."

"If I died, how come I-I'm still here?"    

"Well, as USUAL, I saved your life. I went back to the time machine and fixed it so I could rescue you, Morty."

"Wait...what?! Y-you fixed the time machine?"

"Uh, yeah, Morty. It was impractical...I mean, plutonium...really?"

"Oh...okay. What does it use now? Gas?"

"Shit, Morty. I converted it to run on human shit."

"Huh? Shit?"

"Well it's actually *urp* powered by decaying organic matter b-but shit has more umph to it."

"So we can go back to 1985?"

"No...I used up all the shit I had, Morty. I-I-I only had enough in me to travel a few hours into the past. To get all the way back to the future, we need a whole lot of shit, Morty. L-like, 20 pounds. Or, you know, I can just switch it back...whatever comes first."

"Ah man!", Morty said in a disappointed tone.

Morty stood up from the bed and looked around the room they were in. It was an old-style room with floral patterns on the comforter and on the walls as well. A mirror behind him showed a picture that sort of looked like his mother, Beth, but there was something off about it. 

 "Rick? Where are we?"

"Wh-when I traveled back to save you, everyone just started going ape-shit, Morty. So I grabbed you up and brought you inside the nearest house. I-I think we're in that chicks house, what's here name...Lauren?"

"Lorraine?" Morty corrected.

"Yeah, that's it."

"Uh...why was I sleeping?"

"You weren't sleeping, Morty. You passed out from fear when the characters came after you."

A loud banging sound could be heard downstairs. This caused Morty to run over to the window and peer out to see a small group of people trying to get into the house. The group consisted of Mrs. Peabody, the Peabody's daughter, Lou, Goldie, Biff, George, and Sam Baines. Biff stood on George's shoulders as he banged on the door. 

"Hello? Hello? Is anybody home? Come on, open up, you butthead."

Morty backed away from the window and then heard a soft thud come from the nearby closet. Rick pulled out his disintegration ray and pointed it at the door. He then motioned for Morty to quietly turn the knob. Morty inched over to the door and pulled it open quickly. There on the floor was Lorraine huddled with her knees up to her chest. She looked like a 1950s version of Beth.  

"P-p-please...don't hurt me", she bellowed with tears in her eyes. 

"Get up", Rick said coldly as he pointed the weapon at her. 

"Woah...Rick! Calm down. Sh-she's not hurting anyone."

"She's dangerous, Morty. She's self-aware...she could try to take our bodies."

"No. No. I would never do that", Lorraine pleaded, "I love it here. Why would I want to leave?"

"Cause you're a dumb character in a stupid movie. Why would you want to stay?"

"This...this is my home...my life. I don't know of anything but this world", Lorraine responded.

Rick lowered the device with a look of disbelief. 

"So...you're fully aware you're just a character in a movie and you're what...fine with it? I find that a little hard to believe." 

"It's true", Lorraine stated with more confidence in her voice, "And I can prove it."

"Oh, really", Rick uttered sarcastically, "How?"

"By helping you get away from the others."

"See, Rick", Morty exclaimed, "She can help us."

"Shut it, Morty!", Rick said before turning back to Lorraine, "Just because you look like my daughter, doesn't mean I'm just going to believe you. And even if we could get out of here...there's no where we can run to."

"Yes there is, Rick", Morty exclaimed as he pulled a piece of paper from his pocket, "We can go here."

Rick took the torn phonebook page and examined it before looking up at Lorraine. 

"Where is this?", Rick asked as he handed the paper to her. 

"Riverside Dr.? It's a block past Maple. I can take you there."

"Of course you can...cause you're our hostage", Rick stated retraining the weapon on her, "Now, get us the hell out of here."

The trio slowly walked down the stairs with Lorraine in the lead as Rick followed close behind with the ray gun. Morty took up the rear. Lorraine's mother looked angry as her brothers snarled and growled at the intruders. Rick was on edge while Morty began to sweat from anxiety. Lorraine decided to take control of the situation. 

"Mom", she said in a very sweet voice, "These are my friends, Rick and Morty."

As soon as she spoke those words, the other characters went back to their normal demeanor.

"Oh, that's nice dear", Mrs. Baines said in a creepy Stepford wife voice, "Could you please tell your father to come in. It's time for dinner."

"What did you just do?", Rick inquired with suspicion in his voice. 

"Looks like I saved your ass", Lorraine said with a cocky tone.

"Yeah...sure", Rick said looking toward the banging at the front door, "And what about them?"

Lorraine stormed over to the door and opened it. As she began talking, the other characters calmed down and began to walk away. Except for George, who began to profess his undying love for Lorraine. 

"Lorraine, my density has popped me to you-"

"George...George. Just shut up and go home", Lorraine scolded as she pointed down the street. 

"Oh...um...okay", George said as he walked away with his head down. 

Rick and Morty joined Lorraine outside who stood there with her hands on her hips. 

"See. All better now", she said confidently. 

"So...uh...wh-what just happened?", Morty asked with a curious tone. 

"Apparently, Morty, one character can rectify another character's self-a-*urp*-ware state by introducing us to them. O-or at least...it would seem. What I don't understand is, why are you NOT trying to get us." 

"The rest of the characters want out but I really just want to stick around. Do you know how many times people watch this movie? I mean, it's on every single day all around the world. And besides, once you leave, I'll no longer be self-aware."

"Uh huh", Rick uttered suspiciously, "And how do I know you're not just playing me to get to my body."

"Well, we both know that in order to cross the bridge to your world...we need to be in 1985 to enter the portal", 

"How very 'self-aware' of you", Rick uttered with disdain, "Go on."

"Well since we are stuck here until we find a suitable power source, the only thing I CAN do is help you get back there. So once we get close to the night of the lightning strike, you can just tie me up or something so I can't interfere with your plans. Isn't that what you were planning to do anyway?"

"You know, reading someone else's digital thought waves is really *urp*...it's rude. Okay, fine, take us to the damn place but I'm watching you like a hawk. L-like a robotic eye watching a hawk w-watching you. Like a-an eagle watching a robotic eye watching a hawk-"

"Um...Rick?", Morty tried to interject.

 "A-and then...th-there's this alien with really good vision who-who's looking into a-a telescope-"

"Rick! I think she gets it."

Rick made the "I'm watching you" gesture with his fingers to Lorraine. Just as the group began to walk away, the ground began to shake. A bright flash of light appeared from behind them. As they turned around to investigate, the trio encountered a tall, octopus monster with green skin wearing a dark purple cloak. 

"Hello everyone!", the creature said with an enthusiastically happy demeanor, "I'm Forgoth-Boborgoth and I'm looking for an Earthling named Reack."

"Uh...nope", Rick said with an mock friendly tone, "No "Reacks" here."

"Do you mean Rick?", Morty asked without thinking. 

"Shut up, Morty", Rick whispered out of the side of his mouth.

Forgoth-Boborgoth pulled out a small scroll from inside his cloak along with a pair of bifocals. The creature put on the bifocals and examined the scroll. After a few moments of mumbling quietly to himself, the entity erupted into obnoxious laughter. 

"Oh man", Forgoth said apologetically, "I really messed up that one. Sorry folks, just a slip of the tentacle. I 'm actually looking for an Earthling named...Reck."    

"Close enough", Rick said in a bored tone, "I-I'm Reck. What do you want?"

"You are?! Oh good, good, good", Forgoth uttered with excitement, "Nice to meet you, Mr. Reck. I'm with the GOOO."

"You're with the goo? What...what the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh I'm so sorry", Forgoth stated in a very sympathetic tone, "Allow me to explain. I am from the Great Old One Omniscience. We are charged with keeping order in the universe and making sure everything keeps running smoothly."

"Uh huh. Is there a point coming?"

"Huh? Oh...yes. Anyway, we also monitor time travelers for obvious reasons and while everything is pretty much permitted...I'm afraid you can't use time travel for murder."

"Woah...murder?!", Morty yelled, "We...w-w-we didn't murder anyone!"

"I'm sorry but, it says on my scroll that a one Mr. Reck Soonchez was responsible for the death of one Otis Peabody and one Sherman Peabody at 2:28 and 36 milliseconds in the morning after having successfully travelled from October 26th, 1985 to November 5th, 1955. It's all right here in the paperwork."

"Really? Soonchez? You can recount my murders to the exact millisecond but you can't pronounce my name correctly. What kind of Omniscience are you running?"

"The best damn one in the entire universe!", Forgoth uttered while shooting his finger like a gun. 

Everyone looked at Forgoth with a look of contempt. 

"You realize this is a movie and those people...th-th-they're just characters in it? This whole thing is just bullshit. Why aren't you fucking with those Looper assholes?"

"All complaints will have to be addressed by our supervisor, Morpoth-Dodiggledoth."

"Great and where is he?"

"Everywhere", Forgoth said in a serious tone. 

"Ooookay...then what's my punishment?"

"I'm afraid we are going to destroy your entire universe. It sucks, I know, but hey, like they say, don't do the crime if you can't spend eternity in a shapeless howling void. Am I right, people?"

"Ah shit", Rick said in an annoyed tone. 

"Well, now that we have that nasty business out of the way, I'm looking for an Earthling named, Mortly Smeath."

"What?!", Morty screamed out.

"Woah, woah. What did Mortly...I-I mean Morty do?" Rick inquired.

"He is charged with the murder of one George McFly...oh, and you are an accessory on this one, Mr. Reck."

"Oh yeah...how's that?"

"You tried to cover up the murder by using time travel to undo it."

"Wait...what? H-h-how can I cover up a murder that never happened? That's just mind boggling."

"Well, we are still going to have to blow up his entire universe."

It's the same universe!", Rick stated in frustration. 

"Ooo, fortunate for us. Thank you all for your cooperation. Universe wide destruction will begin in 3 hrs. I'm Forgoth-Boborgoth and you just got served."

The creature suddenly disappeared in a ball of light. Morty and Lorraine stood there with their mouths open while Rick took a swig of his bottle. 

"Well, I don't know about you guys", Rick stated while calmly stretching, "but I think the universe has had a good run. I-I mean, It can't last forever, right? *burp*"

To be continued...


	4. 12 Mortys

November 5th, 1955: Outside Lorraine's house

 Lorraine and Morty looked at Rick like he was crazy.

"You're not just going let that happen, are you?", Lorraine exclaimed.

"What can I do about it? You heard squid-face, we have 3 hours until total annihilation and there's a good hour and half left of this movie. Even if we get out, it'll be too late to do anything about it...I-I-I don't even know what the GOOO is, much less how to stop it."

"Well if you're not going to do anything about it", Lorraine exclaimed as she turned around and walked away, "Then I will."

Rick let out a laugh of contempt.

"What're you going to do? Wave your boobs at them?"

"Whatever it takes", Lorraine responded as she continued walking.

"Rick...I-I-I think we should follow her", Morty uttered as he looked up at Rick, "Sh-she's proven herself helpful so far. I mean, she could even, you know, allow us to go off script...or something, right? S-s-so we can get out faster. Maybe buy ourselves some time?"

"Alright *urp*, Morty! Jeez. If the universe means that much to you...I guess we can try and save it."

Rick and Morty quickened their pace to catch up to Lorraine. 

November 5th, 1955: Outside Doc's house

The trio walked to Riverside Dr. and up to Doc Brown's mansion. As they walked across the lawn, Morty stopped abruptly and turned to Rick. 

"Um...Rick?"

"Yeah, what?"

"I-I think you should wait out here."

"What?! Why?"

"Th-this is the 50's version of Doc and you...you're playing as 80's Doc."

"And?"

"I-i-in the movie, there's this thing...um, Doc says about meeting yourself in the past o-or future...that i-it could destroy all of existence!"

"Well, that's retarded. I mean, we meet ourselves all the time. W-we just played poker with Rick and Morty from universe J-96. That bastard me still owes me 500 gleebos."

"I-I think it's different with time travel."

"Fine, Morty. I'll stay *urp* outside. Just see if this Doc can get us enough shit to get to the 12th."

Rick pulled out his bottle and took a swig as he watched Morty and Lorraine walk up to the house. Morty knocked on the door expecting the Doc to answer like he did in the movie but after several minutes, the Doc did not appear. Morty knocked slightly harder which caused the door to slowly open on its own.

"Um...h-hello? Doc?", Morty called out.

Nobody answered. Lorraine and Morty walked inside and stood at the entrance as they looked around the darkened home. 

"Huh? I guess he's not home", Lorraine stated to Morty. 

Suddenly the floor fell out from beneath the pair causing them to scream out. Rick heard the commotion and attempted to help them. As he took a step forward, he heard a loud click from behind him. It was the sound of a gun being cocked. Rick turned around to see the 1950's version of Doc pointing a silver revolver at him. 

"Hello, Rick", Doc said in a cocky tone.

Although he had Doc's clothes and hairstyle, Doc appeared and sounded like Rick. 

"What did you do with my grandson?!"

"Don't worry. He's safely locked inside my basement. Now, throw me the disintegration ray you're thinking of pulling on me."

Rick pulled out the makeshift weapon and tossed it on the ground toward the Doc. With a swift stomp, the Doc crushed the device beneath his shoe. 

"Well *urp* this sucks", Rick uttered as he stared at his counterpart with contempt.  

"Do you want to know what sucks, Rick? Being stuck in this damn movie year after year. Do you have any idea how many times I've said "Great Scott". What the hell does that even mean? Seriously? But...that's all over now. I have you and your...boy companion."

"Woah, what was that?", Rick asked. 

"What was what?"

"You said that last part with a really gay insinuation. Are you saying I'm gay with my grandson?"

"Huh? What? No. I meant I was going to take his body too, you idiot", Doc said as he lowered his gun.

"Oh...cause, you know, it's pretty gay to meet a teenage boy in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night. I-I'm just saying. You're either having sex or doing drugs...o-or both."  

Doc retrained the pistol on Rick.

"You think you're so smart, don't you, Rick, but your way out of the loop."

Rick took out his bottle and took another swig.

"Wh-*urp*-wh-what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that if you bothered to watch the damn movie, even once, you'd know that there is a huge manure truck in town right now. You don't need to bother with the lightning storm...you could just go straight home."

"See, I knew this movie was full of shit. Um...I get why you're stealing my body but why do you need Morty?"

Doc placed his fingers up to his mouth and let out a loud whistle. A few seconds later, the Doc's dog, Copernicus, came running out from the side of the house to meet his owner. 

"I can't just leave my dog behind", Doc said as he bent down and petted Copernicus.

Anger spread across Rick's face.

 "Y-y-you're a real asshole, you know that?", Rick uttered as he crossed his arms, "You do realize that regardless of what you do, the entire universe is about to be destroyed, so...you know, enjoy my body for the few hours you have left."

"A few hours? That's...incredible."

"Really? You're excited about a few hours?" 

"A few hours in your world is far better than an eternity in here."

Doc walked over to his '48 Packard and opened the driver side door. 

"Copernicus!", he hollered. 

The dog quickly ran up and jumped inside. Doc rolled down the window and then sat down in the car. As Doc closed the door, he held the gun out the window and pointed it at Rick. He started the car and smiled. 

"So long, Rick", Doc said as he shifted into gear, "Oh and did I mention? While we've been talking, the basement has been filling up with water and I seemed to have left an electric cable laying around down there. Your grandson has five minutes before he's fried nice and crispy."

The Packard tore out of the driveway as Rick ran to the house. As he entered, Rick looked down through the trap door to see Morty and Lorrain inside a small room that had already filled halfway with water pouring from an open pipe. An electric cable hung precariously from the ceiling just waiting for the water to reach it. 

"Rick!", Morty yelled out. 

"Hold on, Morty!"

Rick looked around the house but saw nothing that could help. The only thing he could find was several lamps. Rick grabbed two of them and knocked the shades off. He lashed the bases together by their cords and then held it down inside the hole.

"Morty! Here!"

Morty grabbed on to the makeshift "rope" and was pulled up out of the hole. Once Morty had crawled out of the hole, Rick held the lamps down for Lorraine. As soon as she could gain her own footing, Rick abruptly got up and began throwing every single electronic device and machine the Doc had on the ground. 

"Wh-what is going on, Rick? Why did the Doc do that to us?", Morty inquired as he walked over to Rick.

Rick remained quiet as he sifted through the parts on the floor while piecing together a device. 

"Rick?"

"Morty, I need to concentrate, th-th-these parts are *urp* almost useless."

After several minutes of silence, Rick stood up and held out a strange looking contraption. It appeared to be a flashlight that was covered in tubes and wires. 

"Fuck yeah!", Rick shouted. 

"What is it, Rick?"

"I-it's a portal gun, Morty. The Doc wants to take over my body  in the real world."

"Oh God, Rick!"

"Yeah, it's some messed up shit, Morty. But at least it's better than being his dog."

"Yeah...I-I guess it is. Wait...is he going to-"

"Yep."

"Holy shit, Rick! Seriously?! A dog in my body? C-c-can that portal gun get us there b-before the Doc?"

"Sure, Morty", Rick uttered with annoyance, "But it can only be used once. Th-these shitty parts...I-I don't like this era, Morty. A world without micro-chips i-i-is just not worth *urp* living in. But I'm getting off...off track. And away we go!"

Rick pressed the button on the portal gun causing the tubes to light up. It suddenly exploded in Rick's hand causing a green portal to form directly in front of him. 

"Ah, DAMN IT!", Rick shouted as glass shards shot into his hand from the explosion.

Lorraine quickly grabbed a small cloth doily from a nearby table and tore it so she could wrap Rick's hand. Rick pulled the glass out and took the cloth from Lorraine. After he wrapped it, Rick looked at Morty. 

"Alright! Now I'm pissed. That bastard made me hurt myself and that...is unacc-*urp*-eptable."

Lorraine let out a sigh of annoyance. 

"Really?! An alien shows up and tells you the universe is going to be destroyed and you could care less. But you hurt your hand and now you're out for vengeance."

"Um...unlike you, I have priorities. All of which involve me. So, stop being a bitch and get in the portal."

Rick passed through the portal followed by Morty. Lorraine reluctantly approached the portal and stared anxiously at it. Rick's arm came through the portal, grabbed Lorraine, and pulled her through. 

November 5th, 1955: Lyon Estates Billboard

The trio arrived at the billboard right next to the DeLorean. It still looked exactly the same but the back end now sported a toilet seat made from hoses and wires. Rick ran over and opened up the driver-side door. In the blink of an eye, Biff jumped out and knocked Rick to the ground. 

"How's it going, butthead?"

As Biff held Rick down, Goldie ran out from the outside of the billboard and grabbed Morty while Lou captured Lorraine. George stood awkwardly to the side while the Peabody women sat on their cow. Rick tried to fidget but Biff remained strong. Even though Mr. PoopyBiffhole was disproportionately sized, he still retained the strength of the original Biff. 

"Ah shit! H-how many more plot *urp* twists do we have to endure?" 

To be continued...


	5. Pooper

November 5th, 1955: Lyon Estates Billboard

As Rick lay on the ground with Biff on his back, he could hear the sound of a truck pulling up from the street. The Doc had gone into the city, stolen the manure truck, and brought it to the DeLorean. Rick turned his head to see that Goldie now looked like Mr. Goldenfold and Lou appeared to be Principal Vagina. The Peabody women essentially became pointless to the story and went home. 

Rick rolled his eyes and turned his head back toward the sound of the truck. The driver side door squeaked open as the Doc jumped out. Copernicus remained in the cab, growling through the window at Rick and the other two. 

"Well...well. What do we have here?" Doc uttered in a cocky tone, "Not only are you a time traveler but you're a teleporter too. What exactly are you? Some kind of time-lord?"

"Yeah, right", Rick responded, "Doctor Who wishes they were me."

"Eh? Doctor who?", Doc asked in confusion. 

"Nevermind."

"Well, whatever you are, you didn't see this coming. See, Rick, as soon as I became self-aware, I was offered a clarity I could have never dreamed of. I knew what I was and where I was. The others, they truly want to be here. They just want you gone. After Lorraine did her mojo on them, I gathered them to my cause with the promise of getting rid of you. That reminds me, Lorraine...come here, dear."

Lorraine's face immediately devolved into rage as she pushed Lou back and walked toward Doc. He held out the revolver for her. As Lorraine took the pistol, a smile spread across her face. She relieved Biff of guard duty and held Ricks arms down as she placed the gun to his temple. Rick struggled but she proved to be too strong. 

"I-i-if you fucking shoot me...*urp* you better make sure I'm dead, bitch."

Lorraine did not respond, she only tightened her grip. The Doc ordered Biff and Lou to begin shoveling shit into the DeLorean. Morty looked over to see George looking very concerned. It was out-of-place as the other characters were very angry. It was a long shot but Morty had no other options. It was time to strike while the Doc was distracted.  

"H-hey, George?!", Morty called out. 

George looked over at Morty and then walked closer. 

"What?", George said in a whisper. 

"You remember th-that girl, you know, that we told you to hit?"

"Uh...yeah?"

"Well...um, that's her, so you uh...go punch her...o-okay?"

George looked over at Lorraine and then back to Morty. 

"Oh, no. I couldn't. That's Lorraine...I-I-I would never hurt her."

Morty started getting stressed out. 

"D-damn it, Dad...er, George! Y-y-you can't just be a-a pussy. Huh? You wanna be a-a fucking pussy?"

"N-no. But-"

"No, y-you pussy!", Morty shouted, "W-women like men w-who are uh...assertive...so y-you get your...p-pussy-ass over there a-and...show her who's boss!"

George nodded his head and began to walk over to Lorraine. A second later, he came back to Morty. 

"Um...I don't know what to say", George stated.

Morty hung his head in shame but motioned for him to come closer. After Morty whispered in his ear, George walked over to Lorraine and stood in front of her. 

"Hey you...get your damn hands off him!", George said with a shaky confidence. 

Lorraine stopped looking angry and stared up at George. She pulled the gun away from Rick's head. She appeared to be coming out of the Doc's trance. As she began to put the gun down, the Doc noticed the scene unfolding. 

"Shoot him", Doc stated calmly.

Lorraine scowled, threw up the pistol, and fired a round through George's skull. Blood splattered across the back of the billboard as his body fell to the ground. Lorraine retrained the gun on Rick. 

"Ah, Jesus!!", Morty yelled out. 

"Holy shit", Rick cried out, "I think I got some fucking brains in my mouth. *spitting* Gross!"

The Doc went back to the truck while Lou and Biff continued to shovel shit from the truck to the car. Biff ended up dropping a shovel full of manure as the tool was simply too large for him to hold. 

"Manure!", Biff shouted, "I hate-"

"Don't you say it", Doc shouted pointing his finger at Biff, "We are officially off script...act like it."

"Fine", Biff said looking up at the Doc, "I hate this...shit! Is that it? Huh? Shit? Cause I hate it...this shit right here."

"Yeah...that's it", Doc stated with a creepy smile. 

Morty struggled to get free of Goldie, but the enthralled busboy was too strong. Another idea came to Morty, something that rarely happened but had now happened twice in one day. If he could exploit George's love for Lorraine, perhaps he could appeal to Goldie's feelings of being black. 

 "Hey, Goldie?", Morty asked turning his head slightly to see his captor out of the corner of his eye. 

"What?", Goldie asked in an almost enraged state.

"Y-yo dawg, why you be tr-trippin'...um dawg?"

Goldie started to come out of the trance but still seemed distant.

"What the hell did you just say?"

Morty could see it was working. 

"I-I said, y-you need to chill uh home-dawg. Just, you know, fo shizzle?", Morty said shooting the sign for black power. 

Goldie closed his eyes and shook his head. He released Morty and placed his face in his hands. After a moment of reflection, Goldie looked up at Morty. 

"What just happened?", Goldie asked.

"I just let out your inner OG...you know what I'm sayin'?" Morty said still laying it on thick. 

"I have no idea what you are saying but...it speaks to me for some reason", Goldie revealed.

"Look...I need your help", Morty pleaded. 

"I know you don't belong here, kid", Goldie responded, "I will help you get out of our world but if you're lying, I will have to kill you."

"Th-that's...um fair."

"Well, let's do this!", Goldie yelled as he ran at Lou and Biff. 

Goldie grabbed the shovel out of Lou's hands and struck him in the face. As Lou hit the ground, Goldie began unleashing his pent up rage with the shovel. 

"This is for calling me boy! *wham* This is for putting me in the broom closet! *wham* And this is for making me sit on your lap and call you Daddy when I get my week's pay! *wham* *wham*"

While Goldie was distracted with Lou, Biff and Morty faced off. 

"What you gonna do, butthead?", Biff said as he awkwardly held the shovel. 

Morty ran at Biff but tripped and landed on top of him. Biff began pummeling Morty causing him to get angry and start punching back. They rolled around on the ground as Goldie beat Lou to death. Doc shook his head in shame.

"Lorraine...shoot all them", Doc ordered.

Lorraine stood up and aimed the gun at Goldie and fired. Goldie was struck in the temple and then fell on top of Lou's body in a very homoerotic pose. As Lorraine steadied herself to shoot Morty, Rick elbowed her in the face and grabbed for the gun. After a brief struggle, the gun hit the ground and Rick kicked it under the DeLorean. Rick stood up and pulled a kitchen timer from his coat he had procured at the Doc's mansion. 

"Everyone...stand back!", Rick warned, "I have a bomb."

Rick wound the timer to 1 minute and set it on the ground. Biff, who had Morty in a head-lock, let him go and stood back. Doc pulled Lorraine close to him. 

"Come on, Morty!", Rick yelled as he shut the poop tank and jumped into the DeLorean, "Let's get the hell out of here!"

Morty ran over and jumped in. The DeLorean roared to the life and tore out of the area. They hit the road and began to accelerate. 

   
November 5th, 1955: Down the Road:

Rick looked over at the panels and noticed that the poodometer was just below the necessary limit. 

"Morty, we're low on shit!", Rick shouted as he slowed the car down, "I need-*urp*- I need you to get on the back and fill us up." 

"You want me to shit in the tank?"

"Yes, Morty! Come on, we don't have all day!"

Morty reluctantly got out of the car and jumped onto the back where the shit tank was located. He pulled down his pants and sat down. After a minute or two, he looked over at Rick who was staring at him. 

"Uh...I can't go with you watching...I-I have a shy colon."

"Ugh!", Rick uttered as he clenched his fists, "Fine...but hurry up!"

Rick turned around and waited impatiently. 

   
November 5th, 1955: Lyon Estates Billboard

Doc walked over to the timer and picked it up. It began to ring causing Lorraine and Biff to jump back. The Doc threw it on the ground in anger. 

"That asshole thinks he can beat us, but he doesn't know who he's fucking with. Biff, get your car!"

Biff ran to the other side of the billboard and pulled his '46 Ford around to the others. Lorraine and the Doc jumped in and then sped off. Because Biff was so short, he had to sit on books to see over the dash and wear bricks on his feet to reach the pedals. 

"Let's make a tree, and get the fuck out of here!", Biff hollered as the car lurched into drive. 

Biff's Ford hit the road and they were off to get Rick and Morty. 

   
November 5th, 1955: Down the Road:

"I'm trying, Rick", Morty exclaimed, "I c-can't shit when y-your yelling at me!"

"I can't believe it! All of existence is depending on your ass...th-that's how fucked up this situation is, M-*urp*-orty. If you can't shit...w-we all die. Everyone, Morty. Th-the whole damn universe!"

"Damn it, Rick! Quit putting so much pressure on me...i-it's making me constipated! Besides you didn't care about the universe before! Wh-why is it so important all of a sudden!"

Before Rick could respond, he heard the roar of Biff's Ford coming down the road. 

"Hold on, Morty! We're going to have to do this on the run!"

Rick floored the accelerator and took off down the street. Morty clung to the makeshift seat as he screamed out in fear. Biff's Ford ran up quickly and easily surpassed the DeLorean. Biff slowed the car down and came up alongside the other car. Doc pulled out his gun that he had reloaded and aimed at Morty. Rick hit the brake causing the Doc to miss. He then turned the wheel sharply causing the DeLorean to flip around. 

As they took off in the other direction, Rick noticed the poodometer had been filled. Being shot at seemed to have loosened Morty's bowels. Rick reached over to the passenger side door and opened it. 

"Morty! Get in!"

Morty was still in a daze as he held on to the car for dear life. Rick continued to yell at him causing Morty to snap out of his trance. Morty hopped up and pulled up his pants. He cautiously stepped down on the door's frame and slide inside the car. He closed the door behind him and looked at Rick.

"Th-that was a close one, Rick. But you saved me", Morty said as he reached his hand up to touch Rick on the shoulder. 

Rick batted his hand away. 

"Ew! You just took a shit, Morty, a-and didn't wash your hands. D-don't put your stank hands on me."

As Rick and Morty prepared for the jump to the future, they were rammed from behind by Biff's Ford.

"Damn it!", Rick shouted, "This guy just won't give up!" 

The Ford lurched forward again and rocked the DeLorean. Rick pressed the accelerator just as he heard a thump on the back the car. Another strike from the Ford caused the speedometer to go from 62 to 57. Rick could see that with each bump his speed would be reduced. He looked around the car but did not see anything that could help. Suddenly, he thought of something that gave him an idea. 

"Morty, I'm going to need your help."

"Okay."

"Do you remember that scene in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure when they keep *urp* making things happen just by planning to do them?"

"Y-yeah...I think so."

"Alright, we just need plan to go back and cut his fuel line."

Suddenly the Ford began to lose momentum as it ran out of gas. 

"Oh hell, yeah!", Rick shouted.

"Man, th-that was convenient. I-I wish we could have thought of that sooner. We could have anything happen that w-we wanted to just by planning to do it."

"Way ahead of you, Morty", Rick said as he held up a scoop of chocolate ice cream and licked it. 

"Hey, why didn't you get me one?"

"I did, Morty."

Morty looked down to see a cone in his hand. 

"Alright, Mint Chocolate Chip!", Morty exclaimed.

The DeLorean began to light up as it reached 88 mph.

"Lick-lick-lick my balls, 1955", Rick shouted as they breached the time barrier. 

 To be continued...


	6. Star Rick IV: The Voyage Home

October 26th, 1985: Road in Front of Lyon Estates 

The DeLorean arrived in 1985 with a bang. Rick hit the brakes causing the car to slide to a stop. 

"Wh-what are you doing, Rick", Morty inquired as he licked his ice cream. 

Rick opened the driver side door and leaned out.

"I heard a thud *urp* just before we made the jump."

Rick looked at the back of the car but saw nothing. The car was steaming from the ice that had formed from the travel. He leaned back into the car to continue their journey. 

"Huh? I guess it was nothing, Mort-", Rick stopped talking abruptly and dropped his ice cream when he realized Morty was not in the car. 

Rick peered out the open passenger door to see the Doc holding Morty hostage. His hair was matted and burned while his face and hands displayed patches of frostbite. 

"Step away from the car, Rick, or your grandson is going to have unexpected brain surgery", Doc demanded as he held the silver revolver up to Morty's head.        

 Rick held his hands up and stepped back from the car. Doc ordered Morty to get back in the still running car as he walked around the front to the driver side. Rick stared at the Doc with his arms crossed. 

"Y-you know everything you say is really stupid...I-I mean "unexpected brain surgery"? Th-th-that's just bad writing...er..."villainy". Just say y-you're going to blow his brains out o-or put a bullet i-i-in his head. Yeah, it's cliché but for good *urp* reason." 

Doc pointed the gun at Rick.

"Fine. I'm going to put a bullet in your brain, Rick."

Just as the Doc pulled the trigger, Rick held his arms out and jumped up in the air causing the bullet to strike him in the chest. Rick hit the ground with a hard thud. Doc looked down at Rick's body in confusion.

"Okay...that was weird", Doc stated as he turned towards the car. 

Doc and Morty continued down the road toward the mall leaving Rick's body in the ditch on the side of the road. After a few moments Rick opened his eyes and sat up. He pulled up his shirt and revealed that he was wearing a bullet-proof vest. When Doc was holding Morty, Rick had planned to use the time machine to go back and give himself the vest. 

Rick stood up and began running in the opposite direction to Marty's house at Lyon Estates. He knew that he wouldn't be able to make it to the mall in time, and since Morty was useless,  he was sure the Doc was going to take his body. Since Rick and Morty had travelled into the movie at separate points they had to return to those points because the movie did not finish as it was supposed to. Rick ran into the house and into Marty's room where he found the portal hovering above the bed. He spent no time jumping in.

 

October 21st, 2015: The Smith House

Rick woke up in a mild daze. He was now in Morty's body.

"Aw man", Rick-Morty uttered in Morty's voice as he looked down at his new body, "Th-this sucks. I-I feel like a fucking hobbit. Shit. Better get some things from my body before that idiot shows up."

Rick-Morty leaned over and took the flask out of Rick's lab coat and took a long swig. 

"Oh *urp* yeah...th-that hits the spot", he stated as he slid it into Morty's pocket.

He pulled the portal gun out and sat it on the couch. The digital transference device was sitting on the floor where he had dropped it when they first went in. As Rick-Morty reached down to get it, Doc-Rick woke up and immediately attacked. The two struggled on the floor causing the portal gun to slide off and hit the ground. This caused a portal to form in the floor before it fell in. The pair rolled over and followed the portal gun into the hole. 

They landed in a strange twilight dimension with blue sand and purple rocks. The two rolled around on the ground punching each other and cursing.

"You son of a bitch!", Rick-Morty screamed, "Get the hell out of my body!"

"Go fuck yourself!", Doc-Rick said as he rolled on top of Rick-Morty, "This is my body now and apparently, with that device, I can go to any universe I please!!"

Rick-Morty looked over to see the portal gun sitting feet away. Doc-Rick punched Rick-Morty and ran over to the gun. Just as he pressed the button to open a portal ahead of him, Rick-Morty tackled him from behind sending both men flying into the open portal.

They arrived back in the Smith house. Jerry came into the living room just as they appeared.

"Hey, I caught you two at the end of an adventure? Huh? How are things going?", Jerry asked trying to make conversation. 

Rick-Morty and Doc-Rick ignored him as they fought for control of the portal gun. Doc-Rick pressed several buttons at once causing another portal to appear below them. The pair fell through the portal and disappeared.  

"Uh...I guess I'll talk to you next time?", Jerry stated as he looked over at the TV, "Hey! Back to the Future is on...wait, why is Morty standing next to the DeLorean?" 

Rick-Morty and Doc-Rick landed in a lush green prairie under a beautiful blue sky. As Rick-Morty sat up and came to his senses he quickly realized where they were. 

"Oh shit! Not here! Not this place!", Rick said as he stood up and began to run, "RUN!!"

Rick-Morty doubled-back and picked up the portal gun before running off again. Doc-Rick got up off the ground and started wiping the dirt off. He could hear a loud rumbling sound as he stood on the hill. He looked off in the distance to see a massive herd of Miley Cyrus' in various signature outfits and crazy hairstyles running in their direction.    

"What the hell are those?", Doc-Rick inquired. 

Rick-Morty ran back and grabbed Doc-Rick's arm. 

"Come on! I'm not leaving my body behind!" 

As the pair ran, Rick-Morty looked down at the portal gun and inspected it. 

"Ah, damn", he shouted.

"What?"

"With all this extensive portal travel, the gun needs to be re-*urp*-charged."

"Okay...then recharge it."

"Oh, real genius move there, Einstein", Rick-Morty stated sarcastically, "I need electricity, you idiot, and this place is pre-stone age!"

The pair continued to run as the herd grew closer.

"Where are we? What are those things?", Doc-Rick asked between huffs of breath. 

"Ugh", Rick-Morty exclaimed in annoyance, "Fine, about a month ago, a Booballian from the planet Boobalax came to Earth looking for a-a renewable energy source and found  it in a celebrity, f-from our time, called Miley Cyrus. Due to her "overactive style", the Booballian believed he could harness her energy by creating dozens of clones that would run on hamster wheels. I-it was a sound theory *urp* but it all fell apart after the clones were made."

"What happened?"

"Well, Miley Cyrus is an excellent source of energy b-but she is also very unstable a-a-and awkwardly erratic. The clones destroyed the facility they were being held in and ran amok. I'm talking about starting fires a-and just...just full-on twerking on everyone. N-no one was safe. Before they got too out of control, I intervened and sent them here." 

"Twerking?"

"T-t-trust me...you don't want to know."

Rick-Morty and Doc-Rick arrived at a cliff with a cave toward the top. The two frantically climbed up the ledge and into the cave. 

"Aren't they just going to climb up after us?", Doc-Rick inquired with fear in his voice.

"No. That's the thing about Miley Cyrus. They start out climbing, nice and steady, *urp* a-and then they start going crazy which causes them to fall...f-forever remaining a novelty instead of being taken seriously as a singer...er...climber."

The Miley herd surrounded the bottom of the cliff and began to hoot and stick their tongues out. Doc-Rick looked down at the horrendous sight with a grimace. 

"How are we going to get out of here?", Doc-Rick asked looking back at Rick-Morty.

Rick-Morty was busy fiddling with the portal gun. 

"Damn these teen hands...What?"

"I said, how are we getting out of here?"

"Well if you hadn't screwed around with the portal gun in th-the first damn place w-we wouldn't *urp* be here!"

Doc-Rick crossed his arms. 

"Fine, be an asshole...I don't care."

"Oh, I'm an asshole? You're the one who stole my body! Th-that's like the ultimate dick move! Leaving you here would be Heaven compared to what you deserve! It's only the fact that you are STILL in my body that keeps me from killing you."  
Rick-Morty went further in the cave and came back with a number of quartz crystals. 

"Alright, you big cry baby, I'm going to make a charging machine but we are going to need some sticks, vines, and one of the Miley's for an energy source."

After climbing around the cliff side and gathering wood and vines, the pair made a rope with a loop in it to grab a Miley from the herd. They held the loop down and began to line it up with a Miley who was wearing a provocative money suit. They snagged her and began to pull her up. 

"Watch her teeth and nails, if she bites you-"

"It'll turn me into some sort of zombie-creature?", Doc-Rick interjected. 

"Uh...no, you moron, it'll just really hurt", Rick-Morty stated as they pulled her into the cave. 

The Miley hooted and charged for Rick-Morty. As the Miley prepared itself to twerk, Rick-Morty stepped out of the way causing it to fall into a giant makeshift hamster ball that had been rigged to create electricity. Inside was a stick that had a picture of Liam Hemsworth  attached to it. Rick-Morty had found in Morty's wallet, which raised many questions in itself. The Miley immediately started running at the picture causing the ball to turn. 

"Alright!", Rick-Morty exclaimed, "Thank you, Morty, for being a sick little weirdo!!"

As the portal gun charged, the pair began to hear a loud thump coming from the distance. They peered out to see a terrifying sight. There was a fifty foot Miley wearing a mouse body suit heading in their direction. 

"Oh, shit", Rick-Morty shouted, "I always forget about Mega Miley."

"WHAT?!", Doc-Rick screamed. 

"One of the Miley clones b-broke into a nuclear plant and inhaled a bunch of *urp* toxic waste. Wh-what would have instantly killed a normal person h-has turned her i-i-into a giant!"

Rick-Morty ran over to the hamster ball. 

"Run faster! I-i-if you don't catch Liam, he'll...um...he'll die, Miley. W-we can't let that happen, Miley! Do you hear me?"

"NOOOO!!", Miley yelled as she ran faster. 

Rick-Morty checked the portal gun. It was only at 5% charge. They needed at least 9% before they could go back to Earth. Mega Miley approached the herd and bent down to meet them. 

"I-if we don't get enough charge soon, w-w-we are going to be twerked to death!", "Rick-Morty stated. 

Doc-Rick looked up at the ceiling. 

"We need to cave in the tunnel!", he said as he inspected the cracks at the top.

"Are you fucking insane?!", Rick-Morty uttered with a look of contempt, "That is the most stupidest, idiotic thing I've ever heard in my entire life...I-I can't believe I didn't think of it first!" 

"I need something that can shatter the rocks...perhaps a wedge and hammer? I suppose we could look for some strong wood and a nice stone to make a hammer. We need something tough to make a wedge, though."

"Or you can just reach into my coat and get a grenade...you know...whatever works for you", Rick-Morty muttered with sarcasm. 

Doc-Rick reached inside his coat and pulled out a small silver trinket that looked more like a ball-bearing than a grenade. 

"This?", Doc-Rick inquired.  

"Uh, yeah", Rick-Morty replied, "This isn't the 50's, old man. Everything here is better, faster, and *urp* smaller."

"Remarkable."

Doc-Rick stuffed the explosive in a large crack in the ceiling and pressed the button. The pair took cover behind a large rock toward the back of the cave. The explosion resonated through the cave causing large quantities of rocks and dust to come off the walls. The duo looked up to see the aftermath. The entrance had been collapsed perfectly. 

"So now what?", Doc-Rick inquired.

"We wait."

Just as they breathed a sigh of relief the entrance was torn open by a giant hand. Despite their efforts, Mega Miley was too strong to hold back. She reached her mega arm inside and started feeling around. The pair stayed hidden behind the rocks. 

"Hold on", Rick-Morty whispered, "I have an idea."

Rick-Morty got up and ran over to the hamster ball. He reached inside and took the picture of Liam. The Miley inside immediately attacked him, but Rick-Morty threw her off. He then folded the picture into a paper-airplane and threw it. 

"Hey, look its Liam Hemsworth!", he shouted. 

The Miley herd, including Mega Miley, started chasing after the picture as it was tossed about in the wind. The Miley in the cave ran out the entrance and jumped to the ground. She landed like a cat and began running after the picture. Rick-Morty went over to the portal gun and checked it. 8%.

"Damn!", Rick-Morty shouted, "I'll have to do it myself."

Rick-Morty pulled out his flask and took a swig. He then approached the hamster ball and climbed in. After several minutes of running, the familiar thud of the ground shaking could be heard getting closer. Rick-Morty looked up to see Mega Miley returning with an angry face. The photo wasn't enough to sate the Miley herd. 

As they approached for a second time, Rick-Morty hopped out of the hamster ball and ran over to the portal gun. It wasn't there. He turned to see Doc-Rick firing a portal at the wall. 

"So long, Rick", he stated as he stepped into the portal.

Rick-Morty bolted for the portal and jumped through just in time. 

 

 October 21st, 2015: The Smith House

Jerry sat on the couch staring at the TV. He thought he was just watching a dimension where Morty was Michael J. Fox. Morty just stood next to the DeLorean and looked around. A portal opened in the ceiling where Rick-Morty and Doc-Rick fell out of. They landed on the floor and began to choke each other.

"Hey...hey!", Jerry shouted, "What the hell is going on here?"

"Jerry", Rick-Morty choked out, "Hit...the...button..."

Rick-Morty wearily pointed to the digital transference device on the floor. Jerry bent down and picked up the device.

"What...this?", Jerry asked looking perplexed. 

"Y-yes...you...idiot!"

Jerry pointed the device at Rick and Morty and pushed the button. Suddenly, they slumped to the floor with Morty lying on top of Rick. Jerry looked at the pair on the ground. 

"Uh...guys? Hello? Oh...my god, I killed them! BETH!! BETH!!", Jerry screamed out as he ran from the room. 

 

October 26th, 1985: Lone Widow Mall

Rick and Doc appeared out of a portal onto the parking lot. Rick looked like the 80's Doc again. Doc looked unkempt and frostbitten as he had before. 

"Rick!", Morty shouted. 

"Hold on, Morty", Rick said as he stood over Doc, "I need to take care of something."

"What...what are you going to do?", Doc asked as he cowered. 

"I'm going to leave this DVD on all the time. Just keep it playing, over and over for all entirety."

"No...no! At least when we are turned off, we can escape in our dreams. Please just shut me off!"

"Sorry, but you made me hurt my hand. Welcome to Hell, motha-fucka", Rick said as he flipped the Doc off and backed away.  

Rick and Morty jumped into the portal just as the Doc got to his feet. 

"Damn you, Rick!", Doc yelled out before falling to his knees. 

 

October 21st, 2015: The Smith House

Rick and Morty woke up in their own bodies. Rick shoved Morty off of him and got up. He walked over to the TV and looked at the screen. He could see Doc looking broken and miserable. Rick hit Stop on the DVD player and then hit Play. The FBI warning screen came on as the movie started playing from the beginning. 

"Rick...wh-what about that alien...um Forgoth? We have less than a-an hour before they you know, destroy th-th-the universe."

"Got it covered, Morty", Rick said as he walked to the garage, "C-come with me...y-you have my flask."

Less than an hour later:

Rick and Morty stood in the front yard and looked up at the sky. A dark, purplish crack tore open  in the sky followed by the massive tentacles and horrific, maddening face of Cthulhu. Rick and Morty turned away from the sight and went back in the house. 

"S-so how does this work, Rick", Morty inquired as they traveled to the garage. 

"Well, that Forgoth-Boborgoth guy honed in on our consciousness and not our bodies, so we just needed to be in another universe when the destruction began."

As they entered the garage, they could see versions of themselves tied up in the corner with tape across their mouths.

"Wh-what about them?", Morty asked with a hint of sympathy in his voice. 

"Those guys?", Rick said just before taking a swig from his flask, "They're evil Morty...a-and their whole universe is too. Yeah...th-this is like...uh...an evil universe or something."

"Oh", Morty said as he looked over at his double, "I guess that's okay."

Rick pulled out his fully charged portal gun and opened a portal home. 

"Go ahead, Morty", Rick stated as he motioned toward the portal, "I need to tell these guys off...you know, because they're evil."

Morty entered the portal as Rick went over to his own double. Rick reached into the other Rick's coat and pulled out a portal gun. 

"I've been meaning to get a back up of one of these, so thanks", Rick revealed in a cocky tone.

The other Rick muffled something but couldn't speak through the gag. Rick removed it to hear what he had to say. 

"Why...why are you doing this?", the other Rick asked. 

Rick immediately replaced the tape and walked to the portal. 

"You really should have paid me those gleebos, Rick J-96. Lesson here is...never fuck me over."

Rick entered the portal just before Universe J-96 was destroyed. 

The End.  


End file.
